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Sunday, 22 April 2012

Tobbacco: The Wonderful Evil Weed

Much to The Wife's disappointment. I have, after an eight year absence, started smoking again.

The desire for tobacco has never left me, not since I quit back in 2004.  I would dream about smoking.  And the smell of a freshly lit cigarette in particular was a powerful memory trigger.  My dad remains a heavy smoker.  He'll be 75 this year.

The catalyst for starting back up was my father's visit last year.  He smokes about 50 a day, and when he came to visit me for two weeks last year, I didn't want to make him feel left out so I bought a couple packs of these lovely cafe creme cigars.  And they're nice, too.  A great smoke.

And then, it was on.

The sad part is, I enjoy it.  The flavour, the aroma, and the feeling.  For me, it makes some of the difficult elements of my life a easier to bear.

I switched to the cheaper cigarettes a couple weeks ago, but I'm not liking it as much.  The biggest thing, I think, is that they're not as strong.  They're simply not as nice as the cigars.  But you get that for which you've paid.

I know the health risks.  I have also seen what it does to people.  I should quit.  I know all these things.  So, will I?

When I'm ready.  But I suspect that will be sooner rather than later.


  1. It's not a pleasant habit but you gave up for eight years so it proves you CAN do it.
    It's only the person his/herself that can make that decision.
    Good Luck.

    1. Yeah. The withdrawals are even easy. what's difficult is the reconcilliation.

  2. Oh noooooooooooooo!!!!!
    Give it up! You can DO it!
    (I'm a reformed smoker and, yeah, I know, there's nothing worse. Fact is, I used to love smoking, too. I loved everything about it other than it was smelly and it cost a lot and it causes cancer. But the act of smoking, the relaxing way it filled my lungs and made me feel? it was wonderful.... kind of like a beautiful woman with a knife behind her back....)
    Love your honesty!
    Hope you're having fun with A to Z!

    1. Thank you. I'll be popping your blog to see what you do.

  3. I heard that most smokers need to quit on average seven times before it sticks. My husband is probably on his fifth time or so and I'm hoping he's average or less...

    1. nice to see I'm not the only one. The problem is the enjoyment factor.

  4. My addiction was sugar. Is sugar. I still struggle with it. I bet I'll relapse a million times, so I respect that this is only the first time you relapsed.

    I know sugar is bad for me. It causes weight gain and that causes so many problems. So many diseases. Deaths.

    Anyways, glad to find you.

    and my weight loss blog:

    1. We all have our little crutches. Sugar is as bad as any of them. Mine is tobacco. I don't drink much- I average one or two a week- sometimes more, sometimes none. I don't gamble or do drugs. I eat sugar, but I can get by without. Mine is tobacco, definitely.

  5. Hello Torggil,

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting. I appreciate your kind words about my dialogue. A lot of times I struggle with knowing whether or not it's strong enough. I appreciate the encouragement!

    We all have our vices. I'd say if the "worst" thing you do is smoke, you're doing well :D Me, I'm addicted to coffee. And cheese. Ok, pretty much food! HA!

    Nice to meet you! New follower!

  6. the first step is admitting you have a problem =)

    you're a big boy, you'll do as you see fit...

    1. some would say too big, but you know it, Tara!